


Don't blame me for giving up, when you didn't want me to try in the first place

by It_is_Rene_Now



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, dream team smp
Genre: 'fuck you, AHAH POINT AND LAUGH AT CLINGYTWT, ALSO DAMN PUFFY A FUCKIN HYPOCRITE, And makes mistakes, Angry Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Author does not like smpTommy, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Contest, Dream doesnt want them to bring glatt or ghostbur back, Dream is petty, FUCKIN NERDDDS, Gen, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, Immortal Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Nightmare is a bitch, Pain, Sorry Not Sorry, am i venting it out through a discord contest?, and the bullshit he was called before he did anything remotely considered tyrannical or villainous, but that didnt work, but the pettiness is justified, dream says in this, fuck yeah i am, he tried his best, honestly no one even tried to help dream, i am so mad, id just like to say, idk im loosin my mind here, im kinda pissed about that-, nor smpTubbo, oh right, on the behalf of smp dream, so he gave up, this is for the contes, to rot when objectively, yeah - Freeform, you drove me to this point?', you wanna bring back other villains and tyrants but leave me here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/It_is_Rene_Now/pseuds/It_is_Rene_Now
Summary: Dream is allowed to bepetty, he is allowed to be mad, how easy they threw words at him like a scape goat, how they labelled him unjustly.They don't get to be mad, when he gives up.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Nightmare, Clay | Dream & Pain (lol)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 359
Collections: dream-centric discord comp.





	Don't blame me for giving up, when you didn't want me to try in the first place

Dream almost wishes he was drowning in darkness, not the burning light that scorches against pale and rubbed red skin, marked up and down with rough scraps against unforgivingly dark walls, light burns scattered across frail looking skin, as he wished he could sink into the Lava below with no regrets.

In the end, it was worth it though. His friends were freed from Nightmares reach. Nightmare couldn't hurt them anymore.

**Though I can still hurt you.**

The dull purr echoed through his empty mind, taunting him, torturing him with the voice that dictated him for so long, he couldn't have thought for himself. 

_Dreamons were strange,_

_A weird thought process as he watches like a passenger seat in his own mind, dull echoes of regret as he watches Nightmare mercilessly tears apart any connection he had, burning and clawing._

_Dream was okay with it, surprisingly. Seeing as nobody, past a point even when he hadn't done near the things Nightmare had done with Dreams body, they had named him a tyrant for following his own laws and re-enforcing it, like he was supposed to._

_There was only so far you could push someone, and after the first war, Dream balanced dangerously on the edge, like he had for so long, so many life times he could have let go._

_But he didn't back then, he would not show them the same mercy this time._

_He deserved what he would get, and they deserve what they got._

Dream found himself staring at the lava intently, wondering if he could will it to break apart like Dresus. 

What a stupid thought he's already going delusional in here, Nightmares angry chattering, the nightmares of lifetimes of pain. 

It was nothing new, so he just sat there, remembering how when he got overwhelmed by the memories, he would lay down in a thick field of soft and warm grass, letting the trees filter the harsh sunlight as it dappled across a slim face, the peace he found then, away from the people that he held dearly close, only for them to push him away, since he was the easiest scape goat. 

****So you then you finally let me out to play, after centuries, my dear Dreamy~** **

He shut his eyes tightly, as the voice wracked through his brain painfully, like claws scraping down a chalkboard.

"Wh-" Dream rasped, voice unused for so long felt like sandpaper scratching his throat open, "What d-do..." he wheezed painfully, he had run out of water a day or so ago, "What do you want **Nightmare**." his voice was harsh, he let out a dry gasp, trying to talk as his vision blurred, Nightmares annoying ability to control his body functions coming in now.

**Oh~ That's no way to talk to me, Dream~ Guess you forgot what happens when you talk to me like that~ After all I am the only one who cares,**

Dream shook, as he felt Nightmare dial up the sensitivity in his eyes, hating the Dreamons ability to manipulate his Dreams and Body to a dangerous point, as staring into the Lava made it feel he was staring into an eclipse, eyes burning painfully, unable to do anything but cry out weakly as his head burned, the broken shattered glass laughter screeching at his mind as he was overwhelmed with oversensitivity-

He felt himself sway, tipping forwards into Lava, not like anyone would see his death message, or care.

He would just respawn here afterall.

_hewasburningandscreamingitwastoomuch toomuchtoomuchtoomuch-_

The familiar feeling of falling into the small hole of water that he respawned in, over, and over, and over again until he gave up was what snapped him to attention, he could feel tender skin sizzle as the remanence of his last death was left on him, getting out of the dark corner he scrambled up, wiping whatever was covering his eyes so he could see-

_wait_

He scrubbed at his eyes, blinking furiously as nothing but **_darkness_** appeared in his vision, cruel mocking laughter echoed through his brain, as his rough and tattered hoodie scrubbed his eyes raw, he felt his chest drown in anxiety.

_He couldn't see. He can't see at all, nothing, not the lava, not his sleeves. not the entrance for visitors, not anything, he was helpless, and blind-_

He fell to his knees, choking out sobs, because.

_He was immortal, yes, but that means his wounds would never heal, and as he is alive forever._

**He will never see again**

* * *

A Shudder runs down his spine as he follows behind an indifferent Sam, once again going to meet Dream, in the hopes of bringing Wilbur back, or even Schlatt, if not to satisfy Quackity's growing instability, then to bring back Tubbo's father.

He gazes into the box, where Dream is slumped uncomfortably against the cold walls, the meager clothing of ripped and torn green hoodies and bloody soaked cargo pants offered little to no comfort, the lack of privacy probably didn't help either.

_But Dream was the villain, he deserved this._

But the nagging feeling of something _wrong_ only was accentuated as he glides on the moving bridge, slowly over to Dream who startles at the noise, cracked and bloody mask still secured on his face eerily.

The heat from the Lava made the black ink/paint smile and eyes drip... he looked...

_Monstrous_

Tommy walked slowly over to the unresponsive prisoner, standing 3 feet in front of the tattered hoodie wearing man.

"You don't get to give up," he is nearly shocked by the harshness in his voice, but it clears as the mask looks at him, a bit off-center, so Dream was probably just waking up.

Dream snorts, "And who are you to make that choice for me, when to give up..." Dream pauses for a moment, as if wondering who was there, "... Tommy." 

_It's not your time to die._

_It's never my time._

Tommy shakes his head, darkening his glare at the chained tyrant, who sat casually, though only his war hardened observing eyes sensed the unease and tenseness in the man before him, he calms himself preparing for the question that he came here for, the only reason Dream is not yet 6 feet under, and a potentially amnesiac ghost.

"We need you, to tell us how to bring Wilbur back to life." Tommy demanded, short pants in between few words as the tension raises, Dream is still unnervingly silent.

"I cannot do that anymore."

Tommy stumbled back, barely holding onto the rough obsidian openings sides as he nearly slips into the lava, even without it being a canon death, it would hurt and bring suspicion to Dream being able to move from the chains that prevented him from going over the edge to jump or try anything.

"Wh-What do you _mean_ you can't do it anymore?" Tommy shouts, fists clenched until they were painfully white, "T-That's the only _reason_ you're not _dead_ is because we need you to-"

"Because you need me to what? Be your tool, be the scape goat that once Wilbur comes back, and is _still_ as _shitty_ and _insane_ as he was when he died, you'll need someone to fault- for- for bringing him back?" Dreams voice is raspy and rough, but as Sam shouts through the Lava, Tommy feels pure burning anger consume him.

Tommy will blame it on his anger later, but he swings a punch, smacking Dream right in the mask hard enough to shatter it.

Angry Blue meet Milky Dull Green.

Tommy freezes, unseeing orbs flicker around the place unsure of where to look, because well, _Dream couldn't see_.

"Y-You're blind but how-" Tommy paused as the orbs somehow found his own eyes, narrowing into a dark glare, somehow even scarier than when he could see.

"It's not any of your business, frankly." Dream begins, walking forwards and a steady, but unsure pace, Tommy backing up slowly to the wall of Lava behind him, nervous as Dreams face turned dull and porcelain, not a hint of emotion on it.

"After all, you never even bothered figuring out why I did what I did, even before then you just... called me a tyrant to justify taking _my_ land and claiming it your own!" Dream said, voice dead calm as Tommy stumbled back with a shout of Sam's name.

The Lava opened, Bridge preparing to move as Milky unseeing eyes meet Endless Black.

"Dream?-" Sam whispered, unable to be heard as the Lava closed behind a stormy Tommy, quickly going through the motions to leave the Prison, 

Dream was blind. And looked all but a shell of his former self.

Sam ignored the regret that settled over his body like a second skin as he listened through the recording mics in Dreams prison.

_We really... did shove him into becoming what he is now... That's not an excuse for what he did... but at least I know part of the reason._

Sam leaned back, _Puffy is going to be... unhappy if she finds out._

Looking at the visiting schedule he clenched his teeth, hands gripped painfully tight to the clipboard, _Or when._

**-What an annoying brat, after we let him stay exiled instead of _I don't know finally killing_** _'No'_ **-Shut up- Instead of finally killing him, we let him live, and he comes back to you, just to _use_ you?**

_I don't know, honestly you sound like you're mad on my behalf._

Dream knew it was stupid to be talking to the one who took it to themself to torment him and his friends, physically and mentally. Especially him, for how long, but the Dreamon had always been there, the nagging in the back of his skull for years and years of endless life, never to be touched by age or freed by death.

Especially now that he couldn't see _shit_ and that is how it would be for the rest of his endless existence.

_CRACK_

Dream pressed his hand to his lips, a dry painful wheeze overtaking him, lungs burning with the effort.

He ignored how insane and broken the laughter sounded to his sensitive ears, like shattering glass that grated across broken nerves, a haunting reminder of how _stupid_ he was to even try, in this life, as Dream, because nothing ever changed throughout his existence.

_~~He always ended up **alone**~~ _

He was killed as Cornelius for the first time, having to wait and watch, gathering energy to be alive in corporeality once more, watching as his husband was executed and his son wallowed in grief.

He came back, and the three lives' were created and implemented soon after.

Greed, Chaos, Pain and Fear always gripped at him with originally undeserving vengeance, watching in envy as others he tormented to _understand_ just **how** to get out of the never ending slump that he lived in, just walked away from the pain as if nothing happened, going on to die surrounded by people who thanked them for their sacrifice.

That is when he realized how _badly_ he yearned for Death. How death seemed to be a means to an end.

His story is never ending.

He wanted to tear the pages to shreds, wanted to watch as they flickered and burned.

He hated how Karl could just sit back and watch, directing histories flow and sharing stories that hurt him with every word spoken.

He wasn't even sure if Karl knew what stories he told, because like him, Karl was something _more_ something _special_ but no, Karl had not been claimed by time, he was just merely a teller of its stories.

He was not a malfunction in the system. A broken deity, never meant to be freed.

_ CRACK _

Dream was broken. There was no denying that.

  


Tommy feels his hands shake, as he recalls the broken emptiness that ruled Dreams tone, the milky irises that met his own, dull and pained.

What Dream said was true wasn't it?

Dream had been pushed to the role he was in, his actions were his own, but ultimately...

_Dream had no choice, he made mistakes, and they didn't bother helping him correct them, leaving him alone._

Tommy knows he is no hero, but he's sure as hell a lot better than the green bitch- well that's what he used to think, now though... really they were the catalyst who made the villain, who formed Dream from the soft spoken and kind Admin from ages ago, into the Tyrant, wanting to cut all attachments since they had reeled him in with the strings he sowed for him, and brutally hurt, his land, him, and his friends.

And now his way of living.

They crippled Dream in every way without even noticing it, so ignorant to each other, and what their actions brought upon.

Tommy knew what Dream did was still _bad_ nor was it justified but... it made sense why he tried to control to burning whirlwind of destruction he was, alongside those who fought against Dream, for what?

A Drug van? Independence that they would have been given, had they been a bit less greedy?

...

He wonders, if he would still have the Dream he remembered, an effortless Older Brother figure too him, who fooled around with him, never hesitant to have fun, even with the enemies during the time of tension.

There's no chance, of getting that back now. It is far too late.

  


Dream sighs, watching as Tommy walks away, Lava closing around behind the Teen, angry and confused.

It's almost funny, that it took this long for Tommy to realize, there was never someone good, never someone bad.

They brought upon the destruction to themselves, doomed themselves, because they did _bad_ things, and it's not like Dream is innocent, he just wanted to get rid of what was hurting his land, the people in it, who grew with greed and trauma, anger and betrayal. 

It is why he let Nightmare take over, to be able to leave behind this world with no remorse, to free the angry souls that pierced his body with every hurt that is given and taken.

He knew it was bad, and it was cowardly and selfish to let Nightmare take over, but now, after all these centuries... Nightmare was as much him, as he was Nightmare.

There was no line between them, melded together from years of time together, stuck in the loneliness after Dream lost everything once again.

Care did not come easily for the deity, and everyone here had it, took it and held it gently, before mercilessly smashing it against the ground, crushing any hope he had in keeping this family, in finally settling for once, their refusal to listen to his rules, he asked for objective neutrality, they gave Emotional partiality, he asked for them to take smaller, they took bigger.

Took the land he weaved over centuries of pain, taking the memories laden in the ground and tore it apart under their human hands and will, strong and so weak.

Dream was too entirely human now.

* * *

Puffy's breath hitches, as she hears the news, that Dream had gone blind, _somehow_ and as much as she knew her duckling had done bad and wrong...

_**"I would be sorry, If I was your duckling-"** _

Shaking her head, she sips at the warm drink in her hand, so entirely _out of it_ that she can't even tell what she's drinking, just that Niki handed it to her, and it was warm. Warmer than the freezing realization there was something _more_ behind her ducklings supposed obsession and need for power.

And she was so, so ignorant.

* * *

Somewhere close, but yet so far.

Dream breaks.

And he shatters, smashing against the ground into a thousand little pieces, never to be fixed, because he is unloveable.

The world told him so.

* * *

**So you finally realized it?**

...

**Good, we can finish the plan, of course, if you don't want to, I'll take over?**

_I'm tired..._

**That's enough of an answer for me, goodnight, Dreamy~**

_... Goodbye._

* * *

_Dream watches as the Dreamons tear apart the land he sowed with his own hands, gently weaving broken shards of memory ridden lands together to be whole, to find purpose._

_But the World could not allow the deity that._

_Dream wonders what would have happened, if he tried, perhaps things could have gone differently, as he watches his friends torn to shreds and possessed, turning on each other until there was nothing but broken remains of a family shattered across haunted grounds._

**Try Again?**

_Dream is not petty or cruel even after all this time. Broken down into pieces he cannot collect himself enough to be so._

_He had been in this situation hundreds of times. So, once again, he loops in time._

**Better luck this time.**

_Maybe, he'll allow himself some happiness in this timeline._

* * *

Dream wakes up once again-

Or does he?

He blinks in quick succession, unable to see.

_HE STILL CAN'T SEE_

He- he thought the reset in time would take away his blindness, the creeping chill of _uselessness_ shivers over him as he shakes, ignoring the calls of friends, friends he lost being imprisoned.

That, and the lack of Nightmares crushing burden of existence imprinted on his tired mind.

~~How could he possibly do anything now~~

**Author's Note:**

> \- I gave up on the end a bit lol
> 
> \- First version got deleted so i bullshitted the ending.
> 
> \- ok bye im embarrassed.


End file.
